A Few Shamelessly Partisan Limericks

— David March

Political candidate Kerry
Peddles fibs to seduce the unwary.
He wriggles and squirms
And he never confirms
‘cause his own Senate record is scary.

Campaigning John Kerry is surly.
Trapped by his own lies he is surely
Caught in his own Jam
Where unlike Vietnam
Those three Purple Hearts got him out early.

John Forbes Kerry likes making believe.
Against terror he’s got up his sleeve
No bold plans, nor attacks
Militarily lax,
But in politics he’ll dodge and weave.

Here’s a film for a Michael Moore fan to see:
Cambodian Christmas trip fantasy.
But since it’s not true,
Some play-acting will do.
In which case John Kerry’s the mantasy.

Swift boat veterans seem to agree
the John Kerry they know shouldn’t be
elected top leader,
not that bottom feeder;
If he wins don’t expect to stay free.

In perusing the butterfly ballot
one party’s line stinks like a shallot
The Democrat lineup
just gets my darn spineup
Makes me want to hit things with a mallet.

John Kerry should try to keep quiet; he’s
More versions than Heinz has varieties.
When asked to recant
He gives a new slant
All the while dripping self-righteous pieties.

As leader John Kerry would waffle
And squirm and side step something awful
You cannot ignore
That he’s done it before.
His background is nearly unlawful.

Though most senatorial actions
Involve compromising with factions
John Kerry’s career
Hardly let him get near
Legislation for all his retractions.


The Kerry Syndrome’s epidemic.
The Media trash talk systemic
Spews out of TVs
Like some hideous disease,
Making all conversations polemic.

Since Victim Groups hijacked the Dems
Now their voting base suddenly slims.
They could maybe go National
If Kerry were Rational.
But with each speech he makes their hope dims.

(More to come...)